Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

********************

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

********************

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

*********************

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'

********************

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

********************


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

********************

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

*********************

Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb, but
I've never seen her ----.

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
news:o9u1
> Mary had a little pig,
> She kept it fat and plastered;
> And when the price of pork went up,
> She shot the little bastard.
<snip of more gooduns>

Wow, my childhood returns!
I had not long managed to recite all those nursery rhymes in their original
version when my brothers started reciting all those quoted.
My mother hit the roof when she listened to me at three years old reciting
the new version of each!
I seem to remember my brothers not being happy that I had "told on them"!

Me? I've always been innocent ;-)))

Pam the goose wrote:
<snipped>
> Me? I've always been innocent ;-)))

Vintage 1941 *and* innocent ! I do not belieeeeeeve itttt !!! :)

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
news:qgu1
> Pam the goose wrote:
> <snipped>
>> Me? I've always been innocent ;-)))
>
> Vintage 1941 *and* innocent ! I do not belieeeeeeve itttt !!! :)

Really, honestly ;-))

Pam the goose wrote:
> "Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
> news:qgu1
>> Pam the goose wrote:
>> <snipped>
>>> Me? I've always been innocent ;-)))
>>
>> Vintage 1941 *and* innocent ! I do not belieeeeeeve itttt !!! :)
>
> Really, honestly ;-))

But you would say that wouldn't you? :)

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in news:68b61sF2snco9U1
@mid.individual.net:

> Subject: A few nursery rhymes!
>

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as charcoal,
She put her head between its legs
And whistled up its ****hole.


Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jill came down with half a crown'
and it weren't for fetching water!


I wish I were a caterpillar,
wouldn't it be a farce,
to climb up all those great big trees,
and slide down on me hands and knees?


these 'alternative versions' were ones I learned as a kid!

Goromoff wrote:
> "Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in news:68b61sF2snco9U1
> @mid.individual.net:
>
>> Subject: A few nursery rhymes!
>>
>
> Mary had a little lamb,
> Its fleece was black as charcoal,
> She put her head between its legs
> And whistled up its ****hole.

AND

Mary had a little lamb
The vet he was surprised.

From the war years:-

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To play at Hanky Panky
Jill came down with a Dollar bill
Jack must have been a Yankee.

Derek.

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
news:o9u1
[..]
> Mary had a little lamb.
> She also had a bear.
> I've often seen her little lamb, but
> I've never seen her ----.
>
> --
> Heard melodies are sweet, but those Unheard are sweeter
> flyingnun FN 2°°8 +, Mungo Brandybuck of Buckland
>


Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
----------------------------------------------------------
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On 06/05/2008 14:51, Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 + wrote:
<SNIP>
> Mary had a little lamb.
> She also had a bear.
> I've often seen her little lamb, but
> I've never seen her ----.
>

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

"Mothy" <spam> wrote in message
news:snet
> Goromoff wrote:
>
> AND
>
> Mary had a little lamb
> The vet he was surprised.

LOL

Baa Baa Blacck Sheep
Full of sad remorse
The shepherd had his Sunday Lunch
with taties and mint sauce

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
news:o9u1
> Mary had a little pig,
> She kept it fat and plastered;
> And when the price of pork went up,
> She shot the little bastard.

Wee Willie Winkie, runs through the town
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightygown
In and out the houses and along the seaside piers
and when they finally catch him, he should get ten years


Mary had a litle lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Mary passed the butcher's shop
but the lamb went by too slow :-(

On Tue, 06 May 2008 19:09:17 +0100, Tickettyboo
<tickettyboo> wrote:

>
> "Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
> news:o9u1
>
> Wee Willie Winkie, runs through the town
> Upstairs and downstairs in his nightygown
> In and out the houses and along the seaside piers
> and when they finally catch him, he should get ten years
>> Mary had a litle lamb
> Its fleece was white as snow
> Mary passed the butcher's shop
> but the lamb went by too slow :-(
>>


Hickory Dickory Dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the others got away.

"Mothy" <nospam> wrote in message
news:ywtk
> Hickory Dickory Dock
> The mice ran up the clock
> The clock struck one
> But the others got away.

<g>

Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
... and she squashed it with her spoon.
:-)

Tickettyboo wrote:
<snipped>
> Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet
> Eating her curds and whey
> Along came a spider and sat down beside her
> .. and she squashed it with her spoon.
> :-)

That doesn't rhyme. :(

"Flyiñg Ñuñ 2°°8 +" <flyingnun> wrote in message
news:o9u1
> Mary had a little pig,
> She kept it fat and plastered;
> And when the price of pork went up,
> She shot the little bastard.

Those brought back memories.