Jacqui Smith wants you to enjoy your paid for sex, provided you don't
fall into the arms (or legs) of a captive sex trade worker, or a woman
who is working for a pimp etc.

In order to get your money's worth, without infringing the law, you
will have to develop an 'instinct; a hunch; or an uncanny feeling in
your tummy that warns you when the sweet painted lady in the advert or
on the end of the phone line is forbidden fruit.

Remember ... this instinctual feeling is your legal guide. It is all
the evidence you need to keep away for fear of getting a criminal
sentence.

This is Jacqui Smith's advice for a good time with a strictly legal
lady, in two easy steps (if my instincts are correct).

STEP 1. Select an ad in your local paper which says something like:
"amazing erotic massage by experienced woman 44, 18, 32. Ages 25 -
will make you feel good all over"
Call the phone number given, get the address from the lady but do not
make an appointment.

STEP 2: Now call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 and have a
conversation something like this, making sure you record the call as
evidence!

You: Hello, is that Crimestoppers?

CS: Yes

You: I would like to pass some anonymous information to you.

CS: Right .... go ahead

You I have reason to believe that Beryl Lingo or someone else at
(give address) is being held captive, against her will, having arrived
off a lorry from Dover and is now being forced into lurid sexual
activity against her will, with money changing hands, in contravention
of Jacqui Smith's new laws.

CS: Well this really is important information, thank you very much.
May we just ask, how do you know all this?

You: It came to me.

CS: Pardon?

You: It's a hunch, a feeling, a curious turning feeling in my stomach
based on my experienced observations as recently recognised by HM
Government.

CS: Oh. Right. Well, we do encourage people to share their
suspicions with us, so thanks again.

You: When will you be going round then?

CS: Erm. Well, we will start investigations straight away, tomorrow
in fact.

You: Great. How soon can you get round to the address and check my
hunch?

CS: Well that's difficult to say.

You: Well, let me put it this way, if I go round for a bloddy good
shag in say 3 weeks, will you have taken the required steps to rescue
any woman sufffering this inhuman, degrading cruelty by then or will
you leave her suffering day in, day out?

CS: Well absolutely not, we wouldn't just sit on information of this
importance sir. Definately not. Why ...if a person needs rescuing,
they need rescuing..that's it ..in fact, that's exactly what we're
here to do.

You: Fantastic. I would have expected nothing less. I hope you don't
mind, but I did record this conversation, just so that I can
demonstrate in court if needs be, that I took all reasonable steps to
ensure I would be able to enjoy a sexual encounter that would get the
thumbs up from Jacqui Smith, so thanks very much.

CS: No problem sir... and on behalf of all of us here at
Crimestoppers, may we wish you a good time; you did exactly the right
thing, it's always best to stay on the right side of the
law....oh ..and give her one for me sir!

You: Sure. Well goodbye then......(replacing handset) "What a
bloody nice chap"

CS: Bye (replaces handset) "What a bloody nice chap, we could do
with a few more like him .......(turms and shouts) OY, HELGA, COME
BACK 'ERE....HE'S GORN ?

Turk182

On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:56:28 -0800 (PST), Turk182
<digitalradiouk> wrote:

>Jacqui Smith wants you to enjoy your paid for sex, provided you don't
>fall into the arms (or legs) of a captive sex trade worker, or a woman
>who is working for a pimp etc.

Perhaps stationers' shops should sell books of pre-printed forms which
say something like "I, (name of girl) certify that I am offering
sexual services of my own free and unfettered will. I am not acting
under duress. I do not have to share my earnings with, or support,
any other person from them. I also certify that I am over the age of
eighteen years and that I fully consent to whatever sexual activity
you choose to indulge in with me.

(Signed) P. Rostitute".

Get the girl to sign that and with a bit of luck the court should
acquit. A similar form would probably prevent accusations of under
age sex.

Alasdair wrote:
> On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:56:28 -0800 (PST), Turk182
> <digitalradiouk> wrote:
>> Perhaps stationers' shops should sell books of pre-printed forms which
> say something like "I, (name of girl) certify that I am offering
> sexual services of my own free and unfettered will. I am not acting
> under duress. I do not have to share my earnings with, or support,
> any other person from them. I also certify that I am over the age of
> eighteen years and that I fully consent to whatever sexual activity
> you choose to indulge in with me.
>
> (Signed) P. Rostitute".
>
> Get the girl to sign that and with a bit of luck the court should
> acquit. A similar form would probably prevent accusations of under
> age sex.

Far be it from me to be cynical, but, er, are you suggesting our Government
is out of touch and hasn't a ficking clue about the basics of the law of
supply and demand?

On 21 Nov, 00:12, Alasdair <m> wrote:
[..]
> you choose to indulge in with me.
>
> (Signed)  P. Rostitute".
>
> Get the girl to sign that and with a bit of luck the court should
> acquit.  A similar form would probably prevent accusations of under
> age sex.
>
> --
> Alasdair.

Yes ......it's a bit like when you go into the Co-Op to buy a can of
beer; when you pay for it, you have to first press a button to confirm
you're old enough. Even if you're 7, they still have to sell it top
you, because they're not allowed to guess your age. Perhpas people
could take a press button device in to the working lady and ask her to
first depress it to confirm she's got a Jacquie Smith seal of
approval.

Turk182

On Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:12:20 +0000, Alasdair <mail>
wrote:

>On Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:56:28 -0800 (PST), Turk182
><digitalradiouk> wrote:
>>Perhaps stationers' shops should sell books of pre-printed forms which
>say something like "I, (name of girl) certify that I am offering
>sexual services of my own free and unfettered will. I am not acting
>under duress. I do not have to share my earnings with, or support,
>any other person from them. I also certify that I am over the age of
>eighteen years and that I fully consent to whatever sexual activity
>you choose to indulge in with me.
>
>(Signed) P. Rostitute".
>
>Get the girl to sign that and with a bit of luck the court should
>acquit. A similar form would probably prevent accusations of under
>age sex.

And date it of course .

On 21 Nov, 00:17, "Janitor of Lunacy" <gh> wrote:
> Alasdair wrote:
>>
>> Far be it from me to be cynical, but, er, are you suggesting our Government
> is out of touch and hasn't a ficking clue about the basics of the law of
> supply and demand?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

No, nor that Gordon Brown has ever given one to Tony Blair up the back
passage of Downing Street. It was just a malicious rumour put round
in a student rag mag of the era in question y'honour and should be
utterly disregarded.

Kurk193

Three Steps To Heaven:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1LqsHL2PSiM

On 21 Nov, 01:12, Special Care <SpecialCar> wrote:
> Three Steps To Heaven:[..]

The Big Bopper:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7zfx4M...eature=related

On 21 Nov, 01:25, Special Care <SpecialCar> wrote:
> On 21 Nov, 01:12, Special Care <SpecialCar> wrote:
>
> > Three Steps To Heaven:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1LqsHL2PSiM
>
> The Big Bopper:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7zfx4M...eature=related

---------------

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0UYVEe...eature=related

Three New Stars:
[Forget about that nonentity and concentrate on something meaningful.]
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NRznjvaZ3Sk

On 21 Nov, 01:39, Special Care <SpecialCar> wrote:
> Three New Stars:
> [Forget about that nonentity and concentrate on something meaningful.][..]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Cochran was the singer of that song "Three Stars"....... and
sadly he was to follow them...... to a better place than where we poor
wretches are now.....................

Forget about these nonentities in british politics, and concentrate on
people who matter.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NRznjvaZ3Sk

On 21 Nov, 01:53, Ishtar <ishtarc> wrote:
> On 21 Nov, 01:39, Special Care <SpecialCar> wrote:
>
> > Three New Stars:
> > [Forget about that nonentity and concentrate on something meaningful.][..]
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------------
> Eddie Cochran was the singer of that song   "Three Stars".......  and
> sadly he was to follow them...... to a better place than where we poor
> wretches are now.....................
>
> Forget about these nonentities in british politics, and concentrate on
> people who matter.
>
> [..]

=============================================

Concentrate on what matters.

Eddie Cochran mattered.

j s is shit that you scrape off your shoes.

Eddie Cochran mattered............ and HE would NOT have prostituted
himself as Bob G has done..............

Those who die young are those the gods love.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm2Mdm...eature=related

There was a time when we were much closer to sanity.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=s7_IMEvr9ek

On 21 Nov, 02:48, Ishtar <ishtarc> wrote:
> There was a time when we were much closer to sanity.[..]

----------------------------------
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Te_Z3t...eature=related

closer and closer to sanity...

but how do we get back?
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Te_Z3t...eature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=k6qTV6D4byE

Look I'm going to bed in a minute, but jayzizz what does it take to
knock some sense into you shitheads out there?

That song, "Four Green Fields" is a good example of the "All Our Songs
Are Sad" syndrome.

That song has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the border between Ulster and
southern Ireland, and that song has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the
relationship between England and Ireland.

That song is all about YOUR MOTHER'S ARSEHOLE, you stupid imbeciles.

Your mother lovingly stroked your anus, while leaning over you and
exchanging loving eye contact with you and exchanging smiles of
delight with you.

You can never get past that, because of the fundamental laws of
psychology.

Your mother's arsehole is the centre of the universe, even if you are
in amnesia.

Amnesia changes nothing.

Refusing to think about your mother's anus does not make your mother's
anus go away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your Baby is not a Sack of Potatoes, Mrs !
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dddp6bt4_121hsrds9ww
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four Green Fields / All Our Songs Are Sad /
[DISGUISED ANTHEM TO YOUR MOTHER'S ANUS]
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=k6qTV6D4byE